I am no Jailbird

I've visited a prison lately.  Had someone tell me the ins and outs of going.  Guess I was nervous cuz I didn't see 'any' of the signs posted all over the place with rules and guidelines until many, many visits later.

That first time, I tried to study the person in front of me to make sure I was 'doing' things right.  I was a nervous wreck.  Innocently, I spill my change on the table and ask for help from my inmate in diggin' out the quarters for the vending machine.  You wanna see someone nervous, you should have seen him shove that money back at me and turbo assist me put it back in my clear ziplock bag.  I didn't know they weren't suppose to even touch the money.

I people watch to the 'n th' degree.  Time has passed and I've been many times...and...while thinkin' I'm an old pro, I get denied a visit until I go and change my shirt!  My shoulders are showing thru slits in my hawaiin blouse that I had JUST WORN TO CHURCH!  I submissively went to the truck stop and bought a $3 t-shirt.  How embarrassing!  Let's see, what else have I done?!  Oh you don't even wanna know...

Somehow in the mix, I've learned that there is a manual with ALL the rules and regs for visitors.  That's a fine how-do-ya-do at this point in the game.  Hmmm...

Well, there is also a manual for life, too...if we'd read it then we be thoroughly equipped for every good work known to man.  Now, that's freeing...