It's my birthday...

…my spiritual birthday, my independence from the bondage of sin and death! I am spiritually fifteen years old. I’d like to say fifteen years mature in the Lord, but Christian growth doesn’t happen at the same pace as physical growth. All I know is that I’ve grown up in the Lord some. I still have a long way to go, so be patient God isn’t finished with me yet. I walked the aisle at a young age and was baptized, even did the summer camp, Acteens, FCA and so on. But, the ‘real’ change happened on July 4, 1992 in Lubbock, Texas.

This ‘Fourth of July’ was on a Saturday and my little brother had come to see me at Texas Tech. He had been on a Chrysalis and my folks had been on the Walk to Emmaus, so things back home had changed. They were after me to attend this same spiritual retreat, but the timing hadn’t been right. I was amazed at the difference I witnessed in their lives.

On this ‘Fourth of July’, I was really looking forward to spending the day with my brother and friends, then going to see fireworks later that night. During the day we mall shopped and went to my favorite restaurant for lunch, The 50th Street Caboose. I couldn’t enjoy my fajitaladas due to a horrible sinus headache. My brother even bought two ibuprofens out of a vending machine for some untold amount, but the pain wouldn’t budge.

Later that day, I even talked him into a shoulder rub. Needless to say, I wasn’t much company so before I knew it I was alone. I tried taking out my contacts, napping, washing my face and even eating a pizza to cure my aching head, but nothing touched it. I thought, “Well, I’m miserable so I might as well study and do it up right.” I was taking a summer course at Tech, Zoology the study of human anatomy, and it was a doozy of a class. So here I am sprawled out on my living room floor with my books, an almost eaten pepperoni pizza and a dish towel for a napkin, when the phone rings.

On the phone was a guy that my brother had met on his Chrysalis and he was hoping to catch up with him while he was in town. I assured him that my brother would be home by dusk for fireworks because I had threatened him within an inch of his life. This guy decided to take me up on my offer to come on over and wait for him. I tried my best to pull myself together…a little make-up, contacts back into the eyeballs, etc. I was as ready as I’d ever be…

The doorbell rang and there we stood face to face in the foyer of my house. He asked me if I was feeling okay, which I thought was a very forward question for a total stranger to be asking. So I asked him, “Why do you ask?” He replied, “I see pain in your eyes.” And he pointed to my forehead and almost touched it, or maybe he did touch it, I don’t quite remember. The part that I do remember is that it was ‘the spot’ that hurt.

I realized that I was being rude and ushered him from the spot by the door into the living room, all the while explaining the day’s adventure of trying to get over an intense headache to no avail. He shared how he and my brother really connected at the Chrysalis. He was a youth pastor in a small town north of Lubbock. I inquired about my brother.

He shared that my brother talked about his relationship with his dad, etc. Wow, all the talk about Dad…didn’t that guy realized that I had the same dad and that I felt the same feelings that my brother did? Now he had touched another tender spot. My eyes dropped to the plaid pattern on the arm of the couch and my head followed. I hadn’t wanted this guy to see the emotion that welled up in my throat headed to my eyeballs. I was caught by surprise with the emotions I was having, and I was having none of those tears catch his eyesight.

Then the dam broke from a simple question. He asked me, “Don’t you know that your Heavenly Father is not like your earthly father? Your Father wants you to crawl up in His lap so he can hold you.” I tried to hide the flood of tears with my hand over my forehead, but the waterfall beneath was a dead giveaway.

He asked if he could pray with me. Glancing up, I said yes. He had tears in his eyes. Whoa, that touched me deeply. He asked what I wanted from God. I said that I wanted my life to change, a place to go to church and someone with which to go to church. He prayed…and then a seemingly grand canyon amount of time passed…and finally, I prayed.

After the ‘amen’, I opened my eyes and gasped! There on the arm of the couch was a huge wet spot from my tears. I pounced to the floor, snatched the napkin towel and scrubbed the couch all in one fell swoop. He asked what the deal was. As I scrubbed, I explained that my roommate would kill me if I ruined her rent-to-own sofa just like she’d threatened to kill my dogs many times over.

Needless to say, the ‘moment’ was gone, the pizza was gone, my brother was still gone but so was my headache. I went to bed that night feeling like the weight of the world was gone, too. But, in the back of my mind…I wondered if someone like me could really ever change her ways…

Oh well, HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY TAMMIE!