Getch Ur Game On

Okay, I think I need to think. Sometimes I think best thru my fingers. I’ve just learned that I tend to be an emotionally driven person, or rather, ‘was’. It’s changing. And one thing that I’m studying about today is honoring the temple, my body, of God. The verse that was thrown at me this morning was Psalm 84:1, “How lovely are Your dwelling places, O LORD of hosts.” Lovely?! Oh, no…remembrances of the ‘I Spy’ game flood my soul. Lord, don’t make me play that game again!

How many times have I heard these words fly out of my mouth, “I eat when I feel mad, when I feel sad, when I feel glad, when I feel nervous…on and on.” Someone, somewhere along the way, I learned that my eating was a symptom, not the ‘issue’. As I really look at my ‘quote’ in a new light, I see a common denominator. The word ‘feel’, the 1 subject of feelings seems more manageable to deal with than handling each of the 100’s of emotions in my life. We may be onto something huge here?!

Then, there is the whole scolding myself, being disappointed in myself and getting frustrated with my tending the temple habits or lack thereof. (Oops, another common denominator in that statement is ‘myself’.) If you ask my friends ‘What is one of her most used verses?’, they’d tell ya “My/your battle is not against flesh and blood”. They usually get the opportunity to quote it when I’m mad at someone for some random reason. And it’s usually payback for the number of times I’ve thrown it around in their situations. But, this time I was reminded of it on my own and used it in a way I’ve never done.

So wait, I told myself, I am made up of flesh and blood. Yep, sure am. That’s when I realized…drum roll please…my battle is not against myself. Quit beating yourself up, Tam. Learn to love yourself with a healthy love for the person God created you to be. Play the ‘I Spy’ game if you have to. And then, Princess Warrior, get your game on and woop some enemy butt with the weapons not of this world, but of the Spirit.

What a mess...

While dusting my shelves in the kitchen just a moment ago, I hear… “Honey, what’s for supper?” My thought was, ‘Leftovers’. So, I pushed the hold button on dusting and sauntered to the frig to grab a deep pan ¾ full of taco meat to reheat for a taco salad supper. Immediately the pan jumped out of my hands and landed on its’ head and somehow had lost its’ lid on the trip down. Afraid of what was to be, I picked up the pan and 10% of the contents was on the floor and 90% was still stuck in the pan. Hey, not much was wasted, yea! Then, I became lost in thought…

My friends just had their lives turned upside down! He is a pastor and was asked to resign and he is my multi media guru for Hiz Kiz. His wife is my right brain in the childrens' ministry. His kids are in my flock. My prayer is...since the Lord allowed this...that whatever needs to be dumped out and left for the trash will go and they will go on with life trusting His sovereignty holding on to the 90%. He allows things to dump into our lives only to make us better and for our benefit, at least, that is my soul talk. As well as, what I’m praying on their behalf.

I went back to dusting; my next item was my bread of life promise box. I thought I need a word for my friends. I didn’t like the first verse, but settled on the second. Phil. 3:7 “What things were gain to me, those I counted loss for Christ.”

I Spy Something With My Little Eye...

Well, the shoe is on the other foot. I’m not the one needing the Great Comforter/Counselor, my friends are. I'm praying for them. When I was in need a mere moment ago, actually last week, I didn’t handle it well, at all. Through it all, I realized something about myself. I am an emotionally driven individual. My emotions dictate the outcome of my actions and/or reactions, maybe not every time, but most.

In the last episode of ‘Life’s A Stage’, my title for my familial drama that acts out on the canvas of my world, I didn’t handle the situation with grace and wisdom. I heard that my brother had been arrested for serious drug charges and I spiraled down into the dumps. I yielded to it and let my flesh feel exactly what it wanted to feel, think exactly what it wanted to think, say exactly what it wanted to say and …thus, acted it out.

I wanted the house as dark as I could get it. I wanted nothing to do with the Light and anything else that the outside world had to offer. I didn’t feel like praying, so I didn’t. I didn’t feel like answering the phone, so I kept my headset loud. I didn’t feel like going to church, so I didn’t. It was weird.

The LORD, finally broke through my darkness after four days and began to work on me. Here’s a synopsis of what HE said, “You made the wrong choice.” He revealed what should have been my self talk, thus revealing my unbelief. I knew better.

Ro. 5:3 “Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance…”

Phil. 4:4 “Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!”

1 Pet 4:13 “But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed.”

Mtt. 5:12 “Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.”

Psl 118:24 “This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.”

At some point, I turned on every instrument of praise in my house. Every room had ‘The Message’ blaring loud and clear. And doesn’t it say that HE inhabits the praises? I snapped out of it and began to search for answers. First of all, the wrong choice is called sin. So, I had to repent. I realized something...when I made the choices I made, I kindly escorted God off the throne and put myself on it. His thoughts, His feelings, His words and His guidance ceased to have meaning. And my thoughts, feelings, words and actions ruled the roost. I'm no theologian, but isn't that one of the ten commandments? Graven image, idolatry kind of stuff?

And, glory to God, when I picked up my bible study again—He spoke! And through a story about a little girl playing ‘I Spy’ on an airplane in a tumultuous time, I learned to play the same game in my topsy turvy situation. I was challenged by the author to play ‘I Spy’ with the verse Phil. 4:8 in relation to my disruption. And just a note of warning, it wasn’t easy. I didn’t think there was anything noble, admirable or excellent about the matter. I even had to go to the original language and study synonyms before some of the answers came to me. Here’s the results:

I spy something true because: now my family can speak openly and honestly about my brothers’ drug problem.

I spy something honorable because: my brother is a son of the KING.

I spy something right because: it is for his own good that he follow the law of the land and God.

I spy something pure because: he will be forced to detox and be free from defilement and impurities.

I spy something lovely (pleasing) because: he is alive.

I spy something of good repute (admirable, praiseworthy and appealing) because: (this one was hard) God’s reputation in His child will not go unnoticed and God’s grace in this and every situation is praiseworthy. We don’t get what we deserve.

I spy something excellent because: of my brothers’ potential under Christs’ control is enormous.

These are the only words I have right now...someone elses.

"More Than You'll Ever Know"
by Watermark

Something brought you to my mind today
I thought about the funny ways you make me laugh
And yet I feel like it's okay to cry with you
Something about just being with you
When I leave I feel like I've been near God
And that's the way it ought to be...

CHORUS:
'Cause you've been more than a friend to me
You fight off my enemies
'Cause you've spoken the Truth over my life
And you'll never know what it means to me
Just to know you've been on your knees for me
Oh, you have blessed my life
More than you'll ever know, yeah, yeah, yeah
More than you'll ever know, yeah, yeah, yeah

You had faith, when I had none
You prayed God would bring me a brand new song
When I didn't think I could find the strength to sing
And all the while I'm hoping that I'll
Do the kind of praying for you that you've done for me
And that's the way it ought to be...
You have carried me
You have taken upon a bruden that wasn't your own
And may the blessing return to you
A hundredfold, oh yeah...
A hundredfold, oh yeah...